Mothers nowadays have soooooo much information at their fingertips, I wonder how we did it without the internet. Sometimes I think it was easier. You just call a friend!
Baby decisions, more baby decisions...what a struggle. Is too much information a good thing?
We just had a baby enter our family and let me tell you, sifting through all the internet information and opinions on the internet (even those most like your own), is daunting! Much less giving young mothers anxiety as their "baby" may not be doing what others are doing! Or proud that hers is ahead of the curve. As a nurse myself, I learned that in pediatric growth and development, by 7 years old, most children catch up to each other.
So, what could be causing this anxiety? An example: There's so many opinions and "studies" that say, lay babies on their back, no, lay them on their side, use a wedge, don't use a wedge, don't co-sleep with your baby, co-sleep with your baby, skin to skin, no skin to skin, demand feed, schedule feed, vaccinate with shaming if you don't vaccinate, don't vaccinate, you name it. There's conflicting information all over the internet. Another one...it's shared on the internet that the umbilical cord comes off within 2-weeks and your baby's doesn't for 4.5 weeks and you are silently freaking out!!!! "Is my baby, OK?" you wonder.
The good news..the baby won't walk down the aisle to get married still sleeping with you or with their umbilical cord.
When I had my child, it was books, parenting classes and calling a friend. Still with differing opinions, but not as many as the internet which I think made that time easier. I was also different in the sense that I did everything naturally...delivering AND making my own baby food. I was 15-20 years ahead of the rest of my peers/society. My husband and I made decisions for me and our baby ourselves while seeking wise counsel from those we trusted. We took what we liked and left the rest.
So, what is a mom who loves her child to do? How can she sift through the noise and confidently care for her new exquisite bundle of joy?
Just love them and meet their needs. Each child is different but what they need most, is a mom who loves them and is not anxiety ridden. Otherwise, the baby won't be able to relax as he/she feels the mom's anxiety. This can upset their stomach which creates a vicious cycle. Remember, you've been connected for 9 months and the baby, upon delivery, still needs that connection and will for the rest of their life. The connection just changes as they age. But at birth, they are still dependent on you, their main caregiver! Meet their needs with joy (not doubting yourself) and they will be secure.
So, what can you do? Don't listen to other mom's horror stories. They are not yours and won't help any concern/anxiety you may feel. Maybe stop reading a slew of internet blogs or find one or two you like and stick with those. Maybe call a friend?
Learn the baby's cries as they do mean something different, and each baby and what their cry means, could be different. So, you are a private investigator (PI), sleuthing out the truth of each of YOUR baby's cry types!
Do find out about tummy time and play time for your little one as it is important for all humans to learn to entertain themselves and put themselves to sleep. However, don't push it or demand it of your little one. Gentle guidance with short timeframes (while increasing this timeframe as they get older) is key as they are just learning to live in a different world. Just as a mom who has delivered experiences a hormonal shift, so the little one no longer has water with weightlessness to rock him/her to sleep. How resilient these little ones are, with the change they go through during and after birth! It's mindboggling if you sit and think about it.
Remember to just love them and speak great and positive words over them. Celebrate their being here, a true miracle of a God-given life given to care for. A precious gift.
Treat your baby as you would want to be treated, and your family will flourish!
More to come about how to support getting your little one to focus and play alone as they age.
Blessings on your journey,
Nancy