"Am I authentic?" I asked my family. This week, I've been asking my family if there is anything that keeps me from being authentic with others. While my family says I'm great at being authentic, I know I have quite a way to master this characteristic. But first, I wanted to make sure my definition was accurate, so I searched the Merriam-Webster dictionary, and this is what it said:
Not false or imitation: real, actual
True to one's personality, spirit, or character
Made or done the same way as an original
Therefore, the question before me is, am I real? Do I share the real me with the world or do I hide and only share the part/s that I think are acceptable?
Do you want the good news first or the bad news? OK..the good news first. The good news is that I have come a long way in this. I remember not wanting to share my opinions for fear that they would not be accepted. Or, I would find that my opinions were just flat wrong. I remember God giving me a job position where I had to ask doctors about their patient care (if it was excessive for the diagnosis) and if the patient would be medically ready to be discharged in a day or two. Wow..being afraid of authority to begin with and now, I get to ask doctors to possibly alter their care? What was God thinking; or was He?
God was thinking all right. The bad news (or was it really good news) is that I was being stretched beyond my comfort zone! He put me where I needed to grow IF I chose to walk through the fear of stepping out and being authentic and sharing my opinions. Suffice it to say, I was scared of being authentic while questioning the doctors. I remember deciding to pray every morning for months, asking God daily, to show me the truth so that I could stand on it (whatever IT was for the situation/patient). That way, I would be on solid ground rather than on sinking sand. I figured if God showed me the truth, I would be OK, and I was!
God started showing me the truth and I listened! Slowly but surely, as I sought God for the truth every morning and depended on Him to show it to me, I became stronger in sharing with the doctors. Eventually, when I heard or saw the truth, I spoke it while trusting God, when He says, "...and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32) And the truth did. I could stand on what I heard and saw as the truth knowing that what I heard and saw was likely only part of the truth. But it was MY truth that I knew up to a certain point. God then began to speak to me about sharing what He shows me and that if I don't, I'm not being authentic to who He made me to be nor how He made me to be. God began to teach me that if I don't share myself with others and speak up, I'm not honoring Him and what He put inside me. So, being authentic is important.
I began to understand that as I share who He made me to be, I am being my authentic self which makes Him happy. I learned that being authentic is not about me or any of us. It's all about being authentic for Him. To enjoy Him forever and He, us. His creation, made in the image of the triune Godhead.
Daily, I can see the growth that still gets to happen in me regarding being authentic. While I've come a long way (now you sometimes can't stop me from sharing), I have quite a way to go and I look forward to this journey. I decide today, to be authentic in all situations for the next week and forever more. That way, I can honor God in who He made me to be and be free at the same time. It's more work to try to be who you aren't and hold back, anyway!
Will you join me on this journey? I hope so...it may be scary but it's worth it!
In His Service,
Nancy